


Reasonably Speaking

by mirqueen



Category: Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Parody, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-10 00:44:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1152777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirqueen/pseuds/mirqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diana and Bruce each write down all the reasons that they can or can’t get together, respectively. But this changes everything. (AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bruce's Reasons

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make any profit off of _Justice League_ or its characters. It belongs to DC Comics, Cartoon Network, etc.

A/N: A bit of a parody about Diana and Bruce, but all done in good fun.

> **Chapter 1: Bruce's Reasons**

**_#1_**   Batman and Bruce Wayne both loving WW gives away my identity.

**_#2_**   If I lose you, I’ll go on a rampage against everyone.

**_#3_**   You’re immortal and I’ll get old and die.

**_#4_**   I’m difficult to live with; I can’t say I’m sorry.

**_#5_**   We would watch each other’s backs too much; We could end up endangering ourselves and the others.

**_#6_**   I would be worried about you constantly.

**_#7_**   In my dreams, you reject me or I end up killing you.

**_#8_**   Any or all of these things could happen at anytime, anywhere, with anyone.

**_#9_**   I have 8 perfectly well founded and constructed reasons for us not to be together.

Diana read the list of Bruce’s ridiculous reasoning and realized that she had a reason to counter each and every single one of his.

‘ _Fight fire with fire_ ,’ she thought, then smiled wryly, ‘ _Or more like water (being me) is going to put out said fire (Bruce)_.’

* * *

 


	2. Diana's Counter

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make any profit off of _Justice League_ or its characters. It belongs to DC Comics, Cartoon Network, etc.

A/N:A bit of a parody about Diana and Bruce, but all done in good fun.

> **Chapter 2: Diana's Counter**

**_#1_**   We’ll have to be careful.

**_#2_**   You have to learn control.

**_#3_**   When I left the island, I became mortal and if I hadn’t, I would love you no matter how old you became.

**_#4_**   I can handle you and I’ll have to teach you to say you’re sorry.

**_#5_**   The others can handle themselves.

**_#6_**   I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself and you know that.

**_#7_**   A dream isn’t real and if it’s even close to an actual outcome, it’s only one of may possible outcomes, it doesn’t mean it’s destined to happen.

**_#8_**   We will have to watch ourselves so that none of these things ever occur.

**_#9_**   I have 8 perfectly well-founded and constructed reasons for us to disregard your reasons and be together.

Batman finished reading the ludicrous list before him and shook his head.

‘ _This is going to be harder than I imagined_ ,’ he thought to himself.

* * *

 


	3. The Code Battle

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make any profit off of _Justice League_ or its characters. It belongs to DC Comics, Cartoon Network, etc.

A/N:A bit of a parody about Diana and Bruce, but all done in good fun.

For an explanation of the code presented, read  _Addendum: Decoding_.

> **Chapter 3: The Code Battle**

D:  
DRAW  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_B:_  
_VALUE_  
_D_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
MISCOUNT  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_B:_  
_WHICH_  
_D_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
C-R #2  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_B:_  
_WHAT?_  
_D_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
DONE  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_B:_  
_WHATEVER_  
_D_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
GRIN  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_B:_  
_GRIN_  
_D_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
POINT?  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_B:_  
_MIA_  
_D_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
SO?  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_B:_  
_LOVE_  
_D_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
BACK 2 DRAW  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_B:_  
_U 2 I_  
_D_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
STILL DRAW  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_B:_  
_I 2 U_  
_D_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
P.O.W.  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_B:_  
_GOOD_  
_L, D_

* * *

 


	4. Prisoner Of War

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make any profit off of _Justice League_ or its characters. It belongs to DC Comics, Cartoon Network, etc.

A/N:A bit of a parody about Diana and Bruce, but all done in good fun.

Once again, code explanations for Chapter 3 are in  _Addendum: Decoding_ , but this chapter is the real end of the story.

> **Chapter 4: Prisoner Of War**

Bruce Wayne, the Batman, the dark knight, the world’s greatest detective, was defeated in a decision with only pen and paper.

‘ _Why did I give in?_ ' he kept asking himself. ' _Well, let’s guess stupid… You are in love with the woman!_ ' his conscience told him.

Diana was humming a tune that no one who heard it could mistake it for anything, but happy (and a certain pointy-eared superhero couldn’t possibly mistake it for anything but a very significant blues tune). She walked to Bruce’s room in the watchtower and opened the door and walked in, without knocking, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

Bruce was sitting in full costume (of course), with his chair half-turned towards the door. He had his eyes closed, still with the ongoing internal argument.

Diana reached up and took off the cowl that hid the face she longed to see, along with the cape.

Diana gazed into Bruce’s crystal blue eyes.

"Diana," he started, "I…"

"Shhh," she interrupted him quietly, "don’t say anything. I just know you’ll ruin the moment and then I’ll never get it back."

"That’s far from what I intended," he said.

"Then what was it?" she asked.

"I love you," he told her softly, "and I never want to lose you. You’re everything I have to live for."

"Oh, Bruce!" she whispered fiercely, "I never want to lose you either!"

With that, Bruce kissed her deeply.

* * *

 


	5. Addendum: Decoding

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make any profit off of _Justice League_ or its characters. It belongs to DC Comics, Cartoon Network, etc.

A/N:A bit of a parody about Diana and Bruce, but all done in good fun.

Okay, so to explain the third chapter in general, it is supposed to be little notes going back and forth between BM and WW about both lists of reasons. You have to really follow the signatures to understand what each person says.

> **Addendum: Decoding**

_Here’s how they read:_

D (meaning ‘to Diana’):  
DRAW (meaning that they both have an even amount of reasons, like when it “comes to a draw.”  
B (meaning ‘from Bruce’)

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

B (to Bruce):  
VALUE (look for the value of the reasons rather than the number of them)  
D (from Diana - you get the signature thing, right?)

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
MISCOUNT (you counted wrong, one or more of the reasons shouldn’t count)  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

B:  
WHICH (which reason doesn’t count?)  
D

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
C-R #2 (Counter-Reason #2: “you have to learn control”)  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

B:  
WHAT? (what are you talking about, why that one?)  
D

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
DONE (it’s already done)  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

B:  
WHATEVER (this one is a little self-explanatory)  
D

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
GRIN (also self explanatory-it’s just Bruce being his usual smug, sarcastic (but adorable) self.)  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

B:  
GRIN (Diana knows something Bruce doesn’t - hehe.)  
D

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
? (Obviously, Bruce is going to be confused by Diana’s sudden bout of (in his opinion) insanity).  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

B:  
MIA (missing in action-Diana remembered a reason or two that she forgot to mention in her list).  
D

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
SO? (as in, “so what?”).  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

B:  
LOVE (this is her reason)  
D

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
BACK 2 DRAW (her reason brings it back up to an even number between them).  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

B:  
U2I (Your love for me)  
D

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
STILL DRAW (it’s still only one reason)  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

B:  
I2U (My love for you)  
D

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

D:  
P.O.W. (prisoner of war - A.K.A, Bruce gives up)  
B

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

B:  
GOOD (Um, obviously she’s glad he finally surrenders)  
L, D (Love, Diana)

* * *

 


End file.
